Dude Where’s My Blog?!?!

Dude, first off, fuck target and their piece of shit job applications.

Did you know, when you apply for a job using a computer, like you sit down and type in your info in and then answer some questions, that they’re really testing you to see how fit in their scale.

Its mother fucking bull shit judging a person just by what they answer on a question. It’s really just a different form of discrimination, I tell you what. How can you judge a person just by their answer chose? No one ever does well on test and worst when their oblivious. You can’t really know a person unless you physically talk with them and see their reactions. “Don’t judge a book by its cover.”

Someone should take this shit to court or something.

Whatever happened to the old fashion job applications where you fill out a paper, followed by an interview? “Nothing’s the same anymore.”

People always say to get a job and stop sitting on their fat-ass, well how could now? With this shit going on no one’s going to be able to work.

This reminds me of a movie “Gattaca” where just judge you by your blood. It’s just wrong. Go watch this movie it you haven’t already seen it.

Fuck all those places that use that method; target, borders, wal-mart, etc.

PS: FUCK “UNICRU” that piece of shit program designed to make us look stupid!!!

Here’s something I found that couldn’t of been said better.
It comes from http://skarletchronicles.blogdrive.com/

The following test was taken from the BORDERS BOOKSTORE website. It must be passed in order for your application to even be viewed by the prospective employer. Each question is followed by 4 answers. Strongly Disagree/Disagree/Agree/Strongly Agree. I am not including those choices because i have my own response.
*TIP* For a higher chance of PASSING this test, DO NOT USE EITHER ‘STRONGLY’ in reply to the questions. Have as little opinion as possible.
the instructions say to ‘answer each question quickly, with the first response that comes to mind’. in other words, DON’T THINK ABOUT WHAT THE QUESTION IS ASKING, JUST RESPOND.

You expect to succeed in whatever you do
well, yeah, but does saying yes make me a complete and total braggart? agree.

You are good at taking charge of a group
agree. is this what you want to hear?
You keep calm when under stress
agree. does this mean i’m TOO calm? i actually think this is something wanted by a prospective employee

You are somewhat of a thrill-seeker
okay, the stupid questions begin. what does this have to do with working at borders? watch out, i might decide to go bungee jumping off of a book shelf in Psychology! disagree

You like to be alone
well, yes, actually, but i know now that the correct answer is DISAGREE. if i like to be left alone, i may be some sort of reclusive antisocial person who will snarl at a customer who asks a question. the confusion is only the result of assuming this assessment is asking ‘in terms of my personal life’. this assumption is based on the previous question, since ‘Thrill seeking’ has absolutely nothing to do with my career life.

You are well aware of your inner feelings
what kind of stupid question is that. what do my inner feelings matter? are you worried that my suppressed childhood is going to come rampaging out carrying a rifle during work hours? fucking idiots. Agree

People are often mean to you
what kind of question is this??? People are often mean to me? if i agree that makes me a pansy who lets people walk all over me, which may be interpreted as ’she’ll freak if confronted by a customer who wants a book for free because page two is bent’. but if i disagree, will that be interpreted as ’she’s usually the one being mean’? Disagree

You get angry more often than nervous
so, if i have four different customers with four different questions, am i going to trip and start frothing at the mouth or will i start wringing my hands and refer them to my already-busy manager? what answer do they want? they’ve already proven that they don’t want honesty… i’ve taken this test many, many times and every time i answered honestly i never received a callback. Disagree. since i guess getting nervous and sounding like a douche who has no idea about the company she works for (which is TERRIBLE customer service) is better than snapping at the customer. sheesh.

You know when someone is in a bad mood, even if they don’t show it
meaning ‘will you go bothering a customer that is one eye-blink away from beating his wife to a pulp or will you have the intelligence to know when to just walk away’. Agree

You would like a job that is quiet and predictable
well, shit, who wouldn’t? the correct answer is, of course, ‘Disagree’, which is a total and complete LIE. if this was a statement spoken casually by a peer, according to my answer, the following would take place:
“of course, you’d probably prefer a job that was predictable, huh?”
“on the contrary, I’d much prefer a job that was totally unpredictable. I enjoy it when i arrive at work to discover two employees have quit unexpectedly, my cleaning service has raised the prices, thirty customers are attempting to return ‘A Day In The Life of An Average Person’ because last night on American Idol, Simon said the book was ‘frightfully underwritten’. That’s my idea of a great day!”

You solve even difficult mental problems
as opposed to the simple mental problems? i hate the ‘even’ in this question. it’s so… patronizing. as though most people wouldn’t be able to solve the difficult ones. but don’t answer this one ’strongly agree’! that’s displaying confidence, and the LAST thing they need is a confident employee.

You are always cheerful
who, may i ask, is ALWAYS cheerful? i was certain this was a trick question the first time i took one of these tests. therefore, i put ‘disagree’. this is the WRONG answer. the answer they deem correct is ‘agree’. meaning, ‘i agree, i am ALWAYS cheerful. even when im on my period. even when i wake up late. even when i step on a tack and have to hobble around bleeding. even when i get rear ended at a red light. even when my pet gets hit by a car going 45 MPH in a residential area. i just continue whistling and skipping along in the best of moods. =)’

You are unsure of what to say when you meet someone
Disagree. more often than not, i know exactly what to say when i meet someone. as a matter of fact, the other day i was introduced to Hitler. lemme tell you, did we have a lot in common!

A lot of things can make you feel tense
well, of course that depends on what ‘things’ you are talking about. A lot of rabid dogs? yeah, that would make me tense. a lot of fire ants? sure, i’d probably have unusually tense shoulders. a lot of jellybeans? no, that wouldn’t make me tense. a lot of jellybeans on the ground? that would probably make me irritated. a lot of… etc. Disagree.

Compared to others your age, you have achieved a lot
this question depends on whom you’re asking. ask a slut: ‘hmm, well, compared to other 15 year olds, i HAVE slept with a lot of guys. agree!’ ask a bum: ‘well, compared to 35 year olds in Iraq, i HAVE achieved a lot… i mean, i graduated 3rd grade! agree.’ ask a Sexuality Counselor: ‘i have achieved orgasm more than most 45 year old women! agree!’ this question is stupid.

You work hard at what you do
unless you’re a total idiot, it’s obvious you’re supposed to agree.

You keep your promises, no matter what
remember this promise? ‘c’mon, who do you *like*? i won’t tell, i PROMISE!” then you told fifteen seconds later. EVERYONE did this at least 35 times. therefore, NO ONE can agree to this question with a clear conscience. or how about this one: ‘i promise i won’t tell anyone that your husband beats you.’ okay, if that promise was kept, wouldnt it make the ‘promise keeper’ a bad person? but agree i must.

You work better with your hands than your mind
i think they want me to agree on this one, but i disagreed. i work better with my mind. get over it.

You don’t work too hard because it doesn’t pay off anyway
this sort of question is an asshole. it pretends to be your friend, suggesting that it agrees with the statement, but the correct answer is disagree. the average person would, of course, probably agree with the statement. put it in every day terms. if you were at the beach watching someone create this amazing sand castle, would you not think ‘god, i could never do that. it’s just gonna be washed away in an hour.’ the same goes for ice sculptures.

You love to be with people
i can honestly say that i ‘love’ to be with people. i don’t. i enjoy being with people, but i dont LOVE it. normally i’d disagree. unfortunately, they expect you to agree. ‘yes, i LOVE being with people!’

You love to listen to people talk about themselves
I HATE THIS QUESTION! who LOVES to listen to people talk about themselves? who ENJOYS listening to people talk about themselves? who on this god forsaken planet, even pays attention when people are talking about themselves? it’s basic human psychology: humans love to hear themselves speak, and they love having an enraptured audience. thats where celebrities came from. but the correct answer is, i believe, agree. which is BULLSHIT!

You hate to give up if you can’t solve a hard problem
AGREE. who enjoys giving up? i cant honestly say i know a single GD person who enjoys giving up.

You prefer to do things alone
trick question. YES I DEFINITELY PREFER DOING THINGS ALONE! i HATE HATE HATE group work. why? because people are fucking stupid and they tend to get all uppity and complain that you’re being bossy. which may be true, but SOMEONE has to be the fucking leader. otherwise NOTHING gets accomplished and we all sit around picking our noses. THE ANSWER UNICRU DEEMS CORRECT IS ‘DISAGREE’. is anyone else just disgusted by the system now? IF IT WASN’T FOR THOSE PEOPLE UNAFRAID OF WORKING ALONE, WE WOULD NEVER BE WHERE WE ARE TODAY. independance would be unheard of. ever read Ayn Rand’s ANTHEM? UNICRU IS TURNING THE US INTO ANTHEM! do you see the similiarities? fuck! if it wasn’t for those of us who took the plunge and branched out on our own, slavery wouldn’t have been abolished. America wouldn’t have been discovered. the wheel wouldn’t have been invented. FUCK!

When under pressure, you think about all that can go wrong
for me, personally, agree. but this is not made for individual people. it’s made to lump everyone into categories. personally, while under pressure i am making decisions and carrying things out, all the while aware of everything that could go wrong. if i didnt do this i would not be prepared for it when shit did go wrong. they want me to DISAGREE, however, and pretty much say that when under pressure, i just do what i’ve been programmed to do and hope for the best.

It is easy for you to ignore small problems
usually i dont notice small problems. like, i didn’t notice when i got gum on the bottom of my shoe until someone pointed it out. but what is a small problem at work? merchandise being out of order? fuck no, i don’t ignore that! i do it myself or i call someone else over and have them fix it. is a small problem ‘the bathroom light is flickering’? i’ll probably have it fixed within the hour. but i answered this ‘disagree’. i can’t ignore small problems. problesm should not be ignored. they should be prioritized.

You do not often feel hopeful about your future
what? is that even proper english? i do not often feel hopeful? fucking confusing. i don’t feel hopeful often. i dont? yeah i do! fuck you for making me rewrite this sentence! disagree!

You can wait patiently for a long time
this again depends upon circumstance. what am i waiting FOR? am i two months pregnant and patiently awaiting delivery? or am i at Burger King waiting for them to call my number? am i at the DMV? am I at a 5 star restaraunt where i am gonna shell out $500 by the end of the night waiting for my meal? in that case, fuck yeah im impatient! im paying your fucking bills and paycheck! im leaving the tip! you better fucking treat me like royalty! but, this is generalized. agree!

You ignore people’s small mistakes
i was an employer for a long time. if you ignore a small mistake, like forgetting to take out the trash at the end of your shift, then it becomes habitual. this applies in real life as well. your friend tends to step on your shoe when you walk ahead of them. you ignore it. they do it again. you ignore it. they do it again. by now you’re so irritated you turn around and wallop them. and whats a small mistake? a typical husband may forget an anniversary. to him, that’s a small mistake. to the wife, it’s huge and depending on her day and the history of past mistakes, it may be the final straw that results in divorce. Agree.

You are not afraid to tell someone off
of course i’m not. leaders can’t be worried about stepping on toes. toes will be bruised along the way to success. but ‘in general’, i agree, i am afraid of telling someone off.

Most people are easy to get along with
DISAGREE DISAGREE DISAGREE! LADIES! tell me, how many of you claim to dislike the majority of other females? most, if not all of you, right? considering females make up at least half the population, for you to dislike the majority of women and at least a large selection of arrogant pricks, assholes, abusive boyfriends, liars, ex cons, and convicted murderers ISN’T IT TRUE THAT MOST PEOPLE ARE NOT EASY TO GET ALONG WITH?
unless of course, you are a fake asshole. when working, you’re supposed to be reasonable fake. but this survey has already confused me to the point that i have no idea if it’s asking me about ‘on the job’ or ‘in my personal life’. all of this considered, i DISAGREE.

You always have a lot of activities going on
no, i do not always have a lot of activities going on. i usually have very few activities going on, actually. but ill agree to prove i can successfully multi task. ill agree and lie. WHO ALWAYS HAS A LOT OF ACTIVITIES? ALWAYS??? EVEN ON SUNDAYS, FOR THE RELIGIOUS? EVEN DURING SCHOOL, FOR THE MAJORITY OF YOU WHO ARE IN SCHOOL? EVEN WHEN YOUR MOM OR DAD DIES? DO YOU STILL HAVE A LOT OF ACTIVITIES?

When something goes wrong, your whole day is ruined
what is that something? did my car break down? did i get rear ended? or did my shoelace snap? normally a snapped shoelace wouldnt ruin my day, unless it’s the last shoelace on the last pair of shoes i have, which means i am late to work and i then lose my job. or i crash into another car because im rushing to get to work. disagree.

People do a lot of annoying things
fuck yeah they do. they yap yap yap, they lie, they rear end me, they drive slow on the freeway, they have crappy manners, they work at walmart and treat customers like shit, they’re ignorant, they beat their wives, they beat their pets, they knock on my door and try to convert me to mormonism, they etc etc etc. DISAGREE!

It is hard to really care about work when the job is boring
this is true, but ill disagree.
You hold back from talking a lot in a group
disagree. that’s stupid. i always have something to say, whether you want to hear it or not.

You are seen as a leader when you are in groups
agree. though, actually, im probably seen as a power hungry bitch more than a ‘leader’… this being because im female, young, and have a healthy self esteem.
When you need to, you take it easy at work
well, am i pregnant? have i been working 15 hour shifts for the past 7 days straight? is it a slow day? have i been busting my ass for a year and now i just want a vacation? disagree.

You attract attention to yourself
disagree. i don’t and im not going to lie. unless someone was giving away free money or something. then i’d be jumping up and down like the rest of them.
It upsets me when the court allows guilty criminals to go free
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF QUESTION IS THIS? yeah, it upsets me! it upsets me when the innocent are accused and taken to prison too! it upsets me that MJ can go rape more little boys and everyone is okay with that! it upsets me that OJ killed his wife and got away with it! but why do you care if it upsets me or not? what does it matter? AGREE!

You believe that you would be very successful at a sales job
depends on what im selling. i was a telemarketer and i sucked. am i selling avon? i’d probably suck at that too. real estate? perhaps. widgets? probably not. animal products? yeah, sure. AIR? sure! i worked in an oxygen bar for christ sake! agree

You finish the work you have to do, even when you’re tired or bored
well, in general, no. if the work is not involving my job or the finances, ill usually go to bed. but if its at work, i agree. i finish it.

You are proud of the work you do at school or on a job
i wasn’t proud to be a telemarketer. i wasn’t proud to sell recreational oxygen bar equipment to Europeans knowing it was bullshit. i wasn’t proud to work for a veterinarian’s office that was pro-declaw and offered de-barking surgery: the slicing of a dog’s vocal chords. but I AM PROUD OF THE WORK I DID WHILE WORKING, ESPECIALLY WHEN IT CHANGED OPINIONS OR EDUCATED PEOPLE. AGREE

what is not realized is the fact that APPLICANTS ARE NOT GIVEN A CHANCE TO EXPLAIN THEIR ANSWERS! they may be perfectly logical in answering something ‘wrong’. but no one will ever know.
this whole thing is bullshit so im not pasting anymore.